Feeling Blessed
To restore my zeal I looked to community, since after all, Paul was writing to a community and telling them to lift each other up. The struggle is long, the end is out of sight, but reward is sure. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that others are with us on this journey, whether they know it or not.
Ready to retreat and ponder the beauty of God's creation and the blessings of being part of a church community!
Peace :)
Friday, October 6, 2017
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Flagging Zeal
My heart is heavy this morning and it disturbs me because it's not a feeling that I'm used to having. Typically I can find joy in even the smallest, silliest things. In fact sometimes I make fun of myself and my enthusiasm and finding that we have a little strawberry jam left or that I've found just the right size tupperware container for whatever I was trying to squeeze into it.
But not today. I've tried all of the usual tricks. Cleaning out a shelf full of stuff that we haven't touched in years (getting organized always gives me a sense of control, no matter how small). Making one of my favorite "good for you" breakfasts (I'm trying to take better care of myself so that I stand at least some chance of aging gracefully - or at least not suddenly falling apart like a broken down Chevy). Listening to music (the "stress release playlist"). Even doing a task that I've been procrastinating (so now you know I'm desperate to feel a sense of accomplishment).
So far nothing is working though. As I pondered "what the heck is wrong with me", I recalled a devotional that was shared at an otherwise non-memorable church committee meeting several years ago. It came from Romans 12:11 (thank goodness for Google):
At this point I probably should dig into proper exegesis of this text, but I'm not feeling up to it. Which is kind of the point. My zeal is flagging.
That's actually what I recall about the devotional. The person offering it reflected that his zeal was flagging and he wasn't sure what to do about it. The weight of the world - the big WORLD and his personal "world" felt like more than he could bear and he was just exhausted.
I'm pretty sure that at the time we had a great intellectual discussion and then went on with our meeting. I doubt that I could really relate to that feeling, although I'm sure that I said something seemingly emphatic because I really care about the person who was sharing.
Today though, I can honestly say "I get it".
Between the hurricanes, the mass shootings, the congressional divides/debates/rhetoric, and the stress caused by our current President's unpredictable, divisive and just plain rude behavior, I'm exhausted. I feel like I've seen this movie before and it doesn't end well.
Add to that the personal stress of aging - and watching parents and middle-aged friends struggle with the physical and emotional impact of aging at the same time that younger relatives are struggling with the psychological impact of maturing - I'm beyond exhausted.
My zeal is flagging.
Identifying the problem has made me feel a bit better. More to come.
My heart is heavy this morning and it disturbs me because it's not a feeling that I'm used to having. Typically I can find joy in even the smallest, silliest things. In fact sometimes I make fun of myself and my enthusiasm and finding that we have a little strawberry jam left or that I've found just the right size tupperware container for whatever I was trying to squeeze into it.
But not today. I've tried all of the usual tricks. Cleaning out a shelf full of stuff that we haven't touched in years (getting organized always gives me a sense of control, no matter how small). Making one of my favorite "good for you" breakfasts (I'm trying to take better care of myself so that I stand at least some chance of aging gracefully - or at least not suddenly falling apart like a broken down Chevy). Listening to music (the "stress release playlist"). Even doing a task that I've been procrastinating (so now you know I'm desperate to feel a sense of accomplishment).
So far nothing is working though. As I pondered "what the heck is wrong with me", I recalled a devotional that was shared at an otherwise non-memorable church committee meeting several years ago. It came from Romans 12:11 (thank goodness for Google):
11 Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord (NRSV)
At this point I probably should dig into proper exegesis of this text, but I'm not feeling up to it. Which is kind of the point. My zeal is flagging.
That's actually what I recall about the devotional. The person offering it reflected that his zeal was flagging and he wasn't sure what to do about it. The weight of the world - the big WORLD and his personal "world" felt like more than he could bear and he was just exhausted.
I'm pretty sure that at the time we had a great intellectual discussion and then went on with our meeting. I doubt that I could really relate to that feeling, although I'm sure that I said something seemingly emphatic because I really care about the person who was sharing.
Today though, I can honestly say "I get it".
Between the hurricanes, the mass shootings, the congressional divides/debates/rhetoric, and the stress caused by our current President's unpredictable, divisive and just plain rude behavior, I'm exhausted. I feel like I've seen this movie before and it doesn't end well.
Add to that the personal stress of aging - and watching parents and middle-aged friends struggle with the physical and emotional impact of aging at the same time that younger relatives are struggling with the psychological impact of maturing - I'm beyond exhausted.
My zeal is flagging.
Identifying the problem has made me feel a bit better. More to come.
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